Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I commiserate

IN EARLY JUNE 2000, I visited Art Basel for the first time. I was naive, which meant that I was subse-quently shocked and dismayed. The convention hall was filled with stalls, many of which were displaying objects I knew and loved (works by Piero Manzoni, Marcel Broodthaers), pieces made by people I admired from afar (Jeff Wall, Rodney Graham) or by artists of great historical merit (Piet Mondrian, Ed Ruscha). Then there were pieces by artists I knew personally. All of this gave me a charge of recognition mixed with a creeping sense of sadness; by the time I reached my hotel, unironically called the Hotel du Commerce, I realized I was suffering from a kind of equally unironic, decidedly old-fashioned heartbreak. For, more than being an assortment of proper names, the objects themselves had, up until that point, represented con-stellations of ideas to me, their primary form of exchange taking place in books and in journals, in buzzed late-night conversations in bars, and, increas-ingly (in ways that were deeply exciting), in the space of exhibitions. To see a\\ those ideas hung up on the trade-show walls ready for sale was just short of crushing. The next day, as I made my way back to the Messeplatz to take another stab at this new form of art viewing, I ran into an artist I knew. She was one of the very few artists there, and on hearing that she had just arrived, I cautioned her not to go in. This was no place for artists. 

Needless to say, a lot has changed in the past ten years. Art fairs have had their apotheosis. They rival, and often exceed in prestige, large-scale group exhibi­tions; and, in a perverse reciprocity, many exhibitions now replicate the look and feel of the fairs—rabbit-warren arenas in which art is densely installed, where the thrill and velocity of the search for the next new thing is privileged over the slower temporality of the forming of consensus. One of the biggest changes has been the role that artists have been asked to play in this new formation. They are no longer expected (or allowed?) to stay away. Rather, these trade shows increasingly thrive on the presence of artists, who are routinely asked to make "special projects" specifi­cally for the fair and to perform their ideas in the guise of lectures and panels. For many artists, the fairs are as viable and legitimate a form of exhibition as a museum show. While this makes me uncomfortable, I can't pass judgment. Artists are workers too, and the state of employment has changed dramatically, across the board. My father has a pension; I don't. Shit happens. Capitalism rules.


Helen Molesworth.  Chief Curator at the Institute of Contemporary Art, BostonIntro to long article in ArtForum (March 2011) pp. 215-223

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Supporting Role

In this latest phase of an attempt to Westernize the Middle East, the phase "Libya", Barack Obama is intent on maintaining the fiction that we are acting solely in a supporting  role to an international coalition lead by the Brits and France.  A coalition that is engaged (solely) in preventing the slaughter of a population by its own leader....

The last time we helped the Brits in the Middle East was when we engaged in Iran to remove their freely elected president in order to instate The Shah.  Boy, that worked well...  And the last time we entered a war in a supporting role to the French was Vietnam; and we all remember what a gleaming success that was.

The chances of this latest engagement being an uncomplicated success are slim to none.  That being said, despite what all the pundits and nay-sayers and experts and generals say about us having to take the reins on this one, or worse, of us being the ones who are already calling the shots, I sure hope we really strive to engage in this mess only as supporting actors.  It is time for America to reevaluate its role and power in the world.  We have not won a war since WWII. It is time we stop fighting them.

...And the chances of that are also slim to none.

Some call it "post", though "neo" sounds more like it

Gaddafi is without a doubt a monster and a nut, but he is also right when he tells us we are engaging in colonialism.  A new and inefficient form of it, but definitely colonialism...

Uncomfortable Conversation




“How long have you lived in Clemson?”

“Too long.” smile

“…So, what church do you and your husband attend.”

“We’re Jewish.  There are synagogues in Greenville some of my friends go to, but I am non-practicing.  I’m a bad Jew.” smile

“But Jews are the Chosen People.”

“...Yeah… chosen to suffer…” wide smile

...Discussion of pogroms, and the Middle East, and my parents' immigration to Brazil ensues...

...and I confess that I am an atheist...

“I’m one of them atheists. Jews make good atheists and they think they make good Buddhists.”

“You don’t mean, like, you don’t believe in God?”

“Uh-huh, yeah, one of those.”

“So what do you think God is?”

“A human invention born out of a need to believe in something....  ...And what Church do you attend?”

"It's a Christian Church. Non-denominational. Baptist."

"Oh, that's cool, the non-denominational..."

Yep, one uncomfortable conversation...


Friday, March 4, 2011

Unbearable Pain


I wrote Heartache as an ode to Hidey, whose little kidneys are failing.   I also wrote it as a way to process the fact that sooner than later my cats and housemates of 18 years would no longer be.  We continue to give Hidey her weekly fluids and she seems to be responding well to them, but at the time I wrote Heartache, I truly did wonder if Scruffy, with all his congenital ailments, would possibly outlive her.  He didn’t.



On February 17th, 2011 I gave Scruffy his last 8 daily pills.  He had a rough night.  On the morning of the 18th Curtis and I took him on his last trip to the vet.  It was a beautiful warm morning after a cold winter, but I was bundled up in several layers and wouldn't have felt warm even if it were 100 degrees.  We drove the back way over the lake, a drive I usually enjoy and find relaxing.  The landscape is wet and lush and chock-full of wildlife.  This day Curtis kept talking about what a bleak place we live in.  Gabriel Fauré’s requiem was playing on the radio.  Really, it was.  It is a gorgeous piece of music whose beauty I remembered only later in the day, but whose appropriateness at the moment of its airing only made me feel more desperate.



We arrived at the vet and sat in the light and warm waiting room for what to me felt like too short a time and what for Curtis felt like an eternity.  After feeling horrible for hours, Scruffy finally relaxed on my lap, stretched his paws, purred, and seemed happy.  I watched the dogs panting and fidgeting, smiled, and kept stroking Scruffy in what I desired to be an eternal present, while Curtis wanted time to evolve into another present altogether.  Inevitably Mary Nan, Scruffy’s vet of 18 years, called us and we took Puppy, one of Scruffy’s many nicknames, to her examining room.  


We told her about the night he had had.  As mentioned in Heartache, Scruffy was allergic to everything and had chronic sinus infections and coughing fits.  He was also born with a faulty heart valve and has had a bad heart murmur forever.  I always thought that for sure his heart would one day fail and he would die peacefully at home, in his sleep.  But modern medicine has pretty much thwarted that plan for both animals and humans...  Plus, as Mary Nan said when we expressed what had always been our wish, these little guys are designed to survive, they just don’t die peacefully of natural causes.  Unlike humans however, in what I still think as the dark ages when it comes to reasoning about the meaning of life, animals have an easier way out… 


Mary Nan looked at Scruffy and examined him.  He had lost half a pound in 5 months.   Scruffy was a big beautiful cat, long and lanky with a big head.  He was always skinny; but when he was young and healthy he weighed close to 8lbs.  Now, even though he had been eating well every two hours, and we had been feeding him human baby food to try and fatten him, he was down to 5lbs 9oz: skin and bones.  Mary Nan told us his intestines felt hard and knotted when they were supposed to be soft and supple.  She opined that he might have developed intestinal cancer. 


That morning, even before any diagnosis was rendered, we knew it was time to stop his suffering and start on the road to our own.  Curtis and I held Scruffy while we cried and cried and cried and cried some more as we felt his body relax into drug induced unconsciousness before his sweet murmuring heart contracted for its last screwy beat, and his beautiful and perfect soul ceased to be.











Fuffy, of course the only times you would not sit still were when I was trying to draw you, and I can't find my favorite drawing of you--- so goes life... and death...  I love you little cat...