A most unoriginal reason: unsolicited fucking phone calls.
It is Saturday and my phone has been ringing since 9 am. I don't even pay attention to the damned thing anymore. As luck (or lack thereof) would have it, a good friend called from London; and I did not even get up to listen to the answering machine because the phone had been ringing all morning for no real reason. When I noticed her voice emanating from the cabinet where I keep the phone, I ran to pick it up only to drop it and retrieve it as she clicked off. I took the phone to my office in case she tried again. Sometime later, the phone rang once more. This time I picked it up without waiting for my "electronic secretary" (as they call it in Brazil) to answer; it was some poor schlemiel asking for Curtis Simmons. I could have told him, truthfully, that there was no one by that name here, since my husband's name is Simon. Instead I lied sweetly and bold-facedly told him that Curtis was not here at the moment and could I take a message(?). He said he would try later.
It all just makes me angry and sad. I hate lying. I hate being disturbed. I hate thinking some poor person needs to do this for a living. And most of all, I hate making my friends talk to my answering machine when I am right there standing next to the phone, because if I pick up, and it is not a friend, I will have to lie and feel badly all over again. So, like I said, there are a lot of reasons I hate America some days; but having to make my friends talk to an inanimate object, because laws that promote the kind of lazy capitalism that is the mainstay of this here big nation have hijacked my communication streams, is Numero Uno.
....yeah yeah, The Ranting Economist will get on my case for using such a meaningless phrase as "lazy capitalism"... I suppose I could call it "laws passed by a congress paid for by big business in order to fuck consumers more efficiently"... to use part of a Frank Zappa lyric: "Bend over and spread 'em baby".
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